Curse of Friday the 13th

Well another 13th of the month has just past us again. This time it was friday the 13th again. I lost Skyla on Friday the 13th so as you can imagine it was a hard day for me. By 9pm that night my night turned into another bad friday the 13th.
I spent the day at playgroup with Jai and all the mums and bubs. Since having Jai i have met some wonderful girls and now each week we try meet up at ones house. On my way to stopped off at the shops to pick up a chicken for lunch. I also grabbed a drink from a drink machine. Put my money in and pressed number 12. What happens!! I get the drink from spot number 13!! Wrong number and wrong drink. Next i head to my friends place who lives at house number (you guessed it) 13! I also had to drive passed where we had a service for Skyla that they stuffed up big time (another story). Anyways we get to my friends place and have a lovely catch up with the girls. It was great seeing everyone again as it had been a while. Jai has had a cold pretty much the last 2-3 mths straight. Anyway we had lunch then noticed Jai felt a bit warm. took his temp and it wasnt really high. 37.8 Gave him some panadol and went home. The rest of the arvo he seem a bit wingy and was slowly getting hotter and hotter. By 8pm he was 39. I stripped him down to his nappy and gave ahim panadol. sat him downstairs with us. at 830pm he was on Blake and did a little shake which freaked us out a bit. i took him off Blake and sat him with me. We have a family history of febrile convulsions as i had 13 as a baby and Blake had 6 and Jai was yet to have one. Well come 9pm and he fitted. It scared the hell out of me. It was friday the 13th again. How can this happen. i thought i was gonna loose him too. His fit lasted about 7min. During it he started vomiting so i was worried about him choking. I called an ambulance but they didnt get here for about 17min. By the time they arrived he was still out of it and moaning. It took a lot out of him but luckily he was ok. We spent overnight in hospital and found no reason for his fever or fit. Hopefuly this will be his first and last as i really dont need anything else to happen to my kids. So as you can see i am cursed when it comes to friday the 13th!

Yes we are still ALIVE!!

Well i think this is well and truly long over due. Yes we are still ALIVE! We are all going ok. My little boy Jai turned 1 last month. I cant believe it, it has gone so so quick. It only feels like yesterday that we had our baby girl with us. We miss her terribly. Its still no easier. I cant believe it was 2yr on the 13th June that Skyla went to heaven. The days apart are going so quick yet my heart is still broken. People say time heals all wounds. Im sorry to say but that is not true. Well it isnt for me anyways. I just take it day by day and its my two beautiful boys that keep me going :) I love you Blake Skyla and Jai, xx

We finally picked out Skyla's Headstone and it is the most beautiful one i have ever seen. Nothing but the best for our princess. I hope you love it baby girl. It took us nearly two years to find the perfect one but i was glad we waited as it is perfect.

Blake is in yr 5 at school. He is off to Canberra on Monday for a overnight school excursion. He should have fun but it is freezing there. Hope he stays rugged up. Packing lots of warm clothes for him i will. Blake seems to be doing well at school and is still playing soccer on the weekends. This year he is playing goaly half games. Seems to be enjoying it. He is still loving his scooter and skateboards. Any chance he gets he wants to go to the skate park. Getting too cold now for that.

Jai has been walking since he was 10mths. Looking at him you would think he is already 2 or older even, LOL he is a big boy. Cheeky too. He loves his brother so much. They adore each other. I love watching them play together. I could sit and watch for hours. They just laugh and laugh. Jai is very cheeky too.

For Jai's birthday weekend we had lots of family come stay from New Zealand. It was so nice of the ones that could come and spend time with us. We had a big party for Jai at one of the parks near us. It was an awesome day with all our family and friends. Jai got some lovely presents. He got so spoilt. It was a bittersweet weekend as on the Sunday we unveiled Skyla's headstone. Its a big thing in New Zealand. Unveiling of a headstone. We did this on the same weekend so that family from NZ could be here for both. We also had family come from QLD and Melbourne. It was awesome everyone being here. Had a great weekend.

I also wanted to thank everyone who thought about Skyla on her 2yr anniversary. I was overwhelmed with all your love and support from everyone all over the world. I have never even met most of you yet u still thought about us. You are all amazing people. Thankyou so much. People lit candles, released balloons and even took photos. Thankyou so so much.

So many CDH babies have passed away lately. It is so sad. Its devastating that so many parents are going through what we went through. There have also been few survivors. You kids are amazing. We are so proud of all of you. Angels and survivors. All Angels are always in my heart, xxx

I wont bore you with anymore. I will let u enjoy looking at some pics over the last few months. I will try keep this updated but i spend most days on Facebook these days. You can add me as a friend if you like. There is a link on the right --

xxx

About time for an update

Well sorry i havent updated in a while. WOW how time flies. Jai is now 6mths and doing really well. Blake has finished playing soccer on Saturdays. He did really well for his first year at soccer. I am so proud of him. He is my soccer star.

We ended up moving house in September to a much nicer place. Living area is much bigger but a very small yard. Luckily we have the park just up the road.

On October 13th we celebrated Skyla's 2nd Birthday. It was a sad day but but we made it through. We just went to the cemetery and released some balloons. I couldnt believe it had be two years since i had her and 16mths since i seen her beautiful face and held her in my arms. I am starting to get upset as i am starting to forget the way she smelt and felt. It is starting to scare me. I dont want to forget these things and it hurts so damn much! I just want my baby girl here with me and for her to be healthy. But at the same time i know if i still had Skyla i wouldnt have my beautiful baby boy Jai. Jai and Blake are what help me to get bye. Without them who knows what i would do. I do know that Skyla is looking out for her brothers from up there in heaven. How lucky are they to have their own special Angel watching over them. And what a special Angel she is too.

That night of Skyla's birthday Blake went and stayed at my mums and i was home alone with Jai. Jai had been well but awoke at 12am screaming his lungs off. This went on for over an hour and i couldnt stop him. He had a temp of 39.9. I gave him medicine but the screaming was really scaring me so i decided to take him to the local hospital. We ended up staying there til 7 in the morning and was told he had a lung infection and given antibiotics and told to keep up with panadol. He got worse that day. Screaming and couldnt get his temp below 38.8 so decided to take him to the childrens hospital where Skyla was. They are the best there. They did a blood test and his white cell count was at 26. that is pretty high but they couldnt find the source of the infection. They decided he needed to have a lumbur puncture. It broke my heart but they had to rule out everything. He was such a brave boy. Mummy was more upset i think. We ended up being admitted and he started iv antibiotics. Still to this day we dont know what was wrong but he improved quickly. We stayed from wednesday to friday. He even got his photo with spiderman!! I was glad to be back home and out of the hospital

Since then Jai has started sitting up all by himself, rolling all over the place now. He weighs 9kg and is getting so tall. It wont be long before his crawling i think. God help me!! LOL

Blake has been going pretty good a t school but hating it as usual. He is playing cricket for sport and loving it!! He had a little halloween party. He had so much fun. All the kids looked amazing.

Now i am just trying to organise what to get the kids for Christmas. It is so hard trying to decide on what to get them. Blake is especially hard to buy for. What do you buy a 9yr old that has everything?

Off to see Britney Monday night. My sister got me a ticket, thanks Tash. Just hope it will be good. Apparently its been pretty bad. So many are walking out of her concerts saying it is terrible. Oh well, will find out soon i guess. We have good seating too. Diamond reserve!! Row A so i think we will be pretty close to her!

I will try and keep updates regular. I know i always say that but this time i will!! Hope everyone is doing ok. Thinking of all our cherubs and sadly there are now too many more Angels. All the new Angel mummys and daddys are in my thoughts and prayers. xxx

Pictures of my beautiful boys!!!

Happy 2nd Birthday my beautiful Angel

HAPPY 2ND BIRTHDAY SKYLA!!!

Today is my sweet baby girls 2nd Birthday!!! 13th October 2009 and here we are alone without our baby girl. Its been 16mths since we said goodbye. And not a day goes bye that i dont think about my beautiful sweet baby girl.

Today we went to the cemetery to wish her a happy 2nd birthday. on our way we stopped off to get some balloons and flowers for our princess. The sun was out but a bit windy too. We brought Jai's bumbo chair with us so we could get pics of him and Blake at Skyla's grave. He was such a good boy. All smiles he was. We sang her happy birthday and released some balloons.

Happy Birthday Princess, i hope you had a good day today. I hope you had a huge party in heaven with Lilly and all your angel friends. Did you like your balloons. Im sorry that your tinkerbell balloon didnt make it to you. You see the wind really picked up and blew it straight into a tree. I was so disappointed. When Jai let go of his balloon it didnt want to leave. It stayed down low for a while but then all of a sudden it just took off and was gone. We miss you and love you so much darlin. I hope you are happy and have found peace. Love mummy, daddy, Blake and Jai xoxoxoxox


~ Happy Birthday Angel ~

As we wake up in the morning
and your not here to see,
we grasp for some reality...
that our dreams can never be.

We'll bake a cake & buy balloons,
we'll burn a candle too.
We'll play your music, look at pictures
and shed some tears for you.

We'll imagine what the day would bring,
if only you weren't gone.
You'd run and laugh, and jump about,
we'd sing the birthday song.

You should be here today,
excited as can be...
Sifting through the toys and wrap,
bursting forth with glee...

But God had other plans for you,
these plans, we'll never know.
Today, the candle burns,
...with no tiny lips to blow.

We'll do our best to make it through,
this day we meet with dread.
We'll do this all for you, my love...
on this road of grief we tread.

So on this day... my baby girl
You're birthday number two...
your in our hearts and in our thoughts
....as we send our love to you.

Sharon Kivisto 4/2/99




My Birthday In Heaven

You’re wondering if I’ll celebrate
My birthday (way up here)
I know you’re missing me today
I feel your essence near.

God planned a special day for me
He told me with a wink
He’d ordered me a special cake
(It’s Angel food, I think)

I’m getting lots of hugs from God
He’s really good at that
And every time that I walk by
He gives my head a pat

Balloons will fill the streets for me
They float up through the clouds
And we have lots of clowns up here
That make us laugh out loud

There is a birthday carousel
Jeweled horses ride the wind
With music playing oh so sweet…
The magic never ends

I’ve made so many friends, you see
We laugh and play and sing
We ride our bikes and play jump rope
And sleep in Angel’s wings

We’ll have our cake and ice cream
And open gifts, surprise!
But we don’t blow out our candles here
Instead, they light the skies


Sharon Kivisto 4/2/99

Maxton's Memorable Moments

The other day i recieved a parcel in the post. It was from Ashley Standifer, Angel Maxtons mummy. Ashley's son Maxton was also born with CDH. Sadly Maxton lost his fight March 21st 2009. He fought a couragous battle for 18days. Ashley recieved many gifts after loosing her beautiful boy. It is here she made Maxton's Memorable Moments.She decided to create special works of art in memory of all our precious CDH Angels. Here is a picture of what Ashley made in loving memory of my beautiful girl Skyla. Isnt it beautiful! Thankyou so much Ashley, i love it! It brought tears to my eyes when i seen it. Maxton would be so proud of his mummy!

Need Help

Hi everyone. I need help with my blog. I want to know how do i change my blog into a 3 column blog? I changed my background to a 3 column one but couldnt work out how to change the layout. I was worried id loose everything so i went back to a 2 column. Any ideas?

Thanks

One year in Heaven

Today marks 1 year since my beautiful little girl went to Heaven. this week has been very tough knowing that today would mean 365 days since i seen her beautiful smile, 365 days since i held her in my arms and got to kiss her sweet face. What i would do just to have one more day with her again. I miss her so much. My heart is broken in two. I wonder what she would be doing if she was still here. Would we still be in hospital. How would she be with her new little brother. She should be 20mths today, instead my beautiful little girl is in heaven. Its not fair. Why do we have to go through loosing a child. No parent should have to bury their child before them. I think about Skyla everyday. I know she is watching over us and sending angel hugs and kisses down to us. She has since blessed us with a healthy little boy. I worried about falling pregnant so soon after loosing my baby girl. I wondered if she thought i would forget her, but i realised Jai was meant to be. Everything happens for a reason and Skyla sent him to me. I know people say things happen for a reason but i will NEVER know why Skyla was meant to leave us. She fought so hard for 8 whole months and now she is in heaven with a new healthy body playing with all the other CDH babies that have also lost their lives to this horrible birth defect. There is also another Angel in heaven with Skyla. On May 17th i went to say goodbye to a beautiful little girl named Lilly. Lilly was Skyla's room-mate when she was in the ward. I got really close to her mum and nanna and we stayed in touch after loosing Skyla. Sadly Lilly had lost her fight to survive on May 18th 2009. She was a fighter, now an Angel in heaven with Skyla. Me and Lilly's mum think it was the girls plan all along. They were meant to be together, together forever.
Today was a hard day. I didnt really have a good sleep, was awake most of the night. In the morning i went and got Skyla a beautiful big butterfly balloon then we headed off to the cemetery. I thought it was gonna be just the family but there ended up being about 20 people. It was nice. We got her some beautiful flowers. Joe's mum said a few words.I shed too many tears then released her balloon. Hope you liked it baby girl. I hope you and Lilly didnt fight over it. We then all went off to the club for some lunch and now i am home and cant get my baby girl off my mind. I miss her so much. I love you bubba.

Its been a year since we said goodbye,you got your wings you chose to fly. I miss your smile, i miss your touch, i miss the way you smelled, I wish you could have met your brother, to have a chance to be your mother, hear you laugh and watch you grow, all these things ill never know. Forever loved, never forgotten. Miss you baby girl. Always in our hearts,

Love mummy, daddy, Blake and your baby brother Jai xoxoxoxoxox

Lots of cute pics

My little boy is getting so big. He has grown 7cm since birth unless they got his length wrong. Seems alot to me. His birth weight was 3670gm, now he is 5195gm.

Meeting Nanny and Koro from NZ

Jai got to meet his Nanny and Koro from New Zealand this week for the first time. They came over to meet him and for Skyla's 1yr Angel Anniversary which is tomorrow. Please think of us tomorrow as i am having a hard time again. Lots of tears shed this week. It doesnt seem to be getting any easier.

Brotherly LOVE

My little man is finally here

JAI KEWA TEMAIPI arrived on Tuesday 5th May by c-section at 215pm weighing 3.67kg and 53cm long. Perfect in everyway. He is so beautiful.

Happy Mothers Day everyone. Today was hard without my princess, but i know Skyla is watching over us. Look at my gift from her, a beautiful healthy boy. Thankyou sweetheart, miss you so much.

The Countdown Is On, A little scare and a NAME!!

Wow, i am getting so close to meeting my little man. Only 9 more sleeps. I am booked for c-section on the 7th May. We have also decided on a name. His name will be

JAI KEWA TEMAIPI

The 7th May also marks 1 year from when SKYLA had 3 cardiac arrests in 24hrs. They told me that day she wouldnt survive the night. I really tried to not have him this day but i didnt have any other choice but too. Or unless i wanted to have him on the 14th May. That would have made me nearly 41wks and there was no way i was going to go over. I am anxious enough as it is. So now that i am booked for the 7th, as hard as it is going to be i will try and make a happy day out of a sad. He may even decide to come on his own in the meantime. I guess i am going to be very emotional no matter when i have him anyways, Not having my little girl here with us. I miss her so so much. It is still so hard. I love you SKYLA and miss ya bubba but i know you are looking out for your little brother. Thanks darlin.

I had a little scare yesterday. I woke up at 430am and couldnt go back to sleep. At about 830am i was starting to worry as i didnt think i had felt him move. I got myself worked up so i rang the hospital. They told me to come in so they could put the monitor on him. After about 30min of monitoring him they werent really happy with it as they didnt see any spike in his heartrate and i still wasnt really feeling any movements. His heartbeat was fine though. They gave me some apple juice and got me to lay on my side. After that he decided to put on a performance and they were happy with what they saw. Cheeky little bugger he is already. Also too i have been really stressing out lately as it is getting close. I guess its only normal after loosing my beautiful girl. I wonder at times if its all in my head. I just want little Jai out now and safe in my arms. I cant wait to meet him. Anyways after he put on a little show they sent me home which was great. They gave me a kick chart so i can keep track of his movements.

On thursday 30th i have my next checkup and then Friday i have my pre-admission appointment. I will let you all know how it goes.

A Parcel In The Post

I just wanted to say thankyou to Gil, Kaden Brown's mum. Kaden is a CDH survivor from Scotland. Click here to view his blog. Kaden was born in July 07. We have followed each others journey with CDH and kept in touch through our blogs and emails. Well the other day i recieved a parcel in the mail. It was a gorgous outfit and bib for my little man to be. Thankyou so much GIL. I love it. I will try post some pics soon.

PS, Gil should have had her new baby yesterday. Gil was booked in for a C-Section. I cant wait to see some pictures of your new little man. Hope all is well with mum and bub.

Baby Shower

On April 5th, my mum and sister Tash put on a baby shower for me. I was a bit nervous bout having one cause i was worried it would bring up memories of Skyla. Im so glad i had it though cause i ended up having a really great day. Thanks so much mum and Tash. I only cried once before everyone got there cause silly me brought up my beautiful princess. I hid it from them though. Well i dont think they new i cried. Oh well i guess they will know now. There was about 14 of us there. We played a few games and ate some great food. I got so many lovely presents. This time all blue. Thankyou so much to everyone for my presents and i hope you all had a great day. I know i shore did. Now all i need is my new little man. I cant wait. Just about 4weeks to go. I am still waiting on Tash to email me the photos so i can add them to this post. Check back later. Lots of photos coming. Thanks again mum and Tash for giving me a fantastic day. xxx

Blake's 9th Birthday

On March 28th it was Blake's 9th Birthday. We went out for dinner at our local RSL and after that was a school Bingo night fundraiser at the RSL. It was a good night. Blake won the lucky door prize, 2 games of bingo. I won 2 and my mum won 3. You could say that we cleaned up, lol. Towards the end we were too embarressed to say bingo cause we kept winning all the time. On the 29th which was a sunday, Blake had his birthday party at Bowling. He had invited 9 of his best mates. He had a great time. They played 2 games, then had hotdogs, nuggets, chips, drinks then ice cream. Although he didnt win, he had a great day and got lots of lovely presents. By the time it was over i just wanted to go home and sleep. I was exhausted. Im so glad i didnt have to clean up. But i guess that happens when your 34weeks pregnant.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLAKE!!!!

LOVE MUM

PS. As you can see by the new heading of my blog, i have decided to just continue on with this blog. You can still read my beautiful girl's story by clicking on her picture at the top. I will no longer use my other blog.