Saturday, June 13, 2009
Today marks 1 year since my beautiful little girl went to Heaven. this week has been very tough knowing that today would mean 365 days since i seen her beautiful smile, 365 days since i held her in my arms and got to kiss her sweet face. What i would do just to have one more day with her again. I miss her so much. My heart is broken in two. I wonder what she would be doing if she was still here. Would we still be in hospital. How would she be with her new little brother. She should be 20mths today, instead my beautiful little girl is in heaven. Its not fair. Why do we have to go through loosing a child. No parent should have to bury their child before them. I think about Skyla everyday. I know she is watching over us and sending angel hugs and kisses down to us. She has since blessed us with a healthy little boy. I worried about falling pregnant so soon after loosing my baby girl. I wondered if she thought i would forget her, but i realised Jai was meant to be. Everything happens for a reason and Skyla sent him to me. I know people say things happen for a reason but i will NEVER know why Skyla was meant to leave us. She fought so hard for 8 whole months and now she is in heaven with a new healthy body playing with all the other CDH babies that have also lost their lives to this horrible birth defect. There is also another Angel in heaven with Skyla. On May 17th i went to say goodbye to a beautiful little girl named Lilly. Lilly was Skyla's room-mate when she was in the ward. I got really close to her mum and nanna and we stayed in touch after loosing Skyla. Sadly Lilly had lost her fight to survive on May 18th 2009. She was a fighter, now an Angel in heaven with Skyla. Me and Lilly's mum think it was the girls plan all along. They were meant to be together, together forever.
Today was a hard day. I didnt really have a good sleep, was awake most of the night. In the morning i went and got Skyla a beautiful big butterfly balloon then we headed off to the cemetery. I thought it was gonna be just the family but there ended up being about 20 people. It was nice. We got her some beautiful flowers. Joe's mum said a few words.I shed too many tears then released her balloon. Hope you liked it baby girl. I hope you and Lilly didnt fight over it. We then all went off to the club for some lunch and now i am home and cant get my baby girl off my mind. I miss her so much. I love you bubba.
Its been a year since we said goodbye,you got your wings you chose to fly. I miss your smile, i miss your touch, i miss the way you smelled, I wish you could have met your brother, to have a chance to be your mother, hear you laugh and watch you grow, all these things ill never know. Forever loved, never forgotten. Miss you baby girl. Always in our hearts,
Love mummy, daddy, Blake and your baby brother Jai xoxoxoxoxox
Friday, June 12, 2009
Jai got to meet his Nanny and Koro from New Zealand this week for the first time. They came over to meet him and for Skyla's 1yr Angel Anniversary which is tomorrow. Please think of us tomorrow as i am having a hard time again. Lots of tears shed this week. It doesnt seem to be getting any easier.